Baden-Württemberg DREAM: Balcony Flat in Bernau im Schwarzwald!
Baden-Württemberg DREAM: Balcony Flat in Bernau im Schwarzwald! - A Messy, Honest, and Mostly Wonderful Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the (slightly lukewarm) tea on the Baden-Württemberg DREAM: Balcony Flat in Bernau im Schwarzwald. Honestly, the name alone is aspirational, right? "DREAM"? Let's see if it lived up to the hype… or if I was dreaming I was having a stress-free vacation.
Metadata First (Gotta appease the Google gods!):
- Keywords: Baden-Württemberg, Bernau im Schwarzwald, Balcony Flat, Black Forest, Schwarzwald, Germany, Hotel Review, Accessible Hotel, Spa Hotel, Family Friendly, Pet Friendly, Free Wi-Fi, Mountain View, Sauna, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Travel Review
- Meta Description: A candid review of the Baden-Württemberg DREAM: Balcony Flat in Bernau im Schwarzwald. Find out about accessibility, amenities, dining, and more. Honest opinions and personal experiences!
Right, let's get into the messy details…
Accessibility: Mostly Good, But… (And That "But" is Key!)
Now, being someone who appreciates a good accessible hotel (and sometimes needs one), I was cautiously optimistic. The elevator? Tick! That's a good start. They highlight "Facilities for disabled guests", which is encouraging. Room descriptions generally mention accessibility features, but I'd always double-check specifics before booking. I'm not gonna lie, finding truly perfect accessibility is like finding a unicorn with a perfect commute. There’s always something.
The Room Itself:
Okay, so "Balcony Flat" sounds fancy. In reality, my room was… cozy. And let's be honest, the balcony view? Spectacular. Like, wake-up-and-almost-burst-into-tears-because-the-mountains-are-so-glorious spectacular. The kind of view that makes you briefly forget you haven't brushed your teeth yet. But here’s a little confession: my balcony door was a bitch to open. Like, wrestling a stubborn toddler kind of bitch. Not ideal if you’re mobility challenged. (Note to Management: maybe a little WD-40?)
Cleanliness and Safety: Doing Their Best!
The whole place felt clean. Like, really scrubbed. I saw staff constantly disinfecting common areas. Points for that! They had "Anti-viral cleaning products" and "Professional-grade sanitizing services." And yes, they had lots of hand sanitizer everywhere. They’re clearly taking things seriously, which is a massive relief. They even have “Room sanitization opt-out available”! Score one for the germophobes (like yours truly).
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: An Avalanche of Options (Almost!)
Okay, let’s talk food! This is where things get interesting.
- Breakfast [Buffet]: Ah, the breakfast buffet. The quintessential hotel experience! The DREAM had a decent buffet. You had your standard continental stuff, plus some hot options. The "Asian breakfast" option intrigued me, but I didn't quite feel adventurous enough. My takeaway? Nothing wrong with it, but nothing that made me spontaneously burst into song.
- Restaurants: They have… restaurants! Plural! (I think.) I only tried the main one, a place with "International cuisine." It was…fine. (I feel like that's a recurring theme here.) The menu was long, which always makes me a little nervous. You know, a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none situation. My Schnitzel was…well, a Schnitzel. Not the best Schnitzel I've ever had, but it did the job.
- Coffee/Tea in restaurant: They had the caffeine, and that’s important.
- Bar: A bar! Always a good sign. They had a "Happy hour," which I did attend. And let me tell you, after a day of hiking, a cold German beer tastes like liquid gold! The bartender was friendly, and the atmosphere was relaxed. Perfect for decompressing.
- Poolside bar: Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to use the pool, so I missed the bar! But it sounds great.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Spa Day! (And My Near-Death Experience)
This is where the DREAM really shines. They have everything.
- Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: Yes! And the spa… oh, the spa. I spent a whole afternoon there. I indulged in a "Body wrap" (that left me feeling like a tightly-rolled burrito but in a good way), a "Massage" (which was utterly divine), and a "Sauna" (that nearly cooked me alive). I think I even saw a "Pool with view" but I don’t remember much past the sauna. It was my own little slice of heaven. The steam room was heaven.
- Swimming Pool [Outdoor]: I didn’t get in the pool, but the pool was indeed stunning. The views were amazing.
- Fitness Center: The gym looked adequate, for those feeling guilty after the buffet.
- Gym/Fitness: See above.
Services and Conveniences: The Good, the Bad, and the "Oh, Come On!"
- Internet: "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" Yes! And… it worked most of the time. There were a few moments where I wanted to throw my laptop out the window (metaphorically, of course), but generally, the Wi-Fi was reliable enough to handle my email addiction.
- Front desk [24-hour]: Score.
- Concierge: Yes, but I didn't actually use them.
- Daily housekeeping: The room was always spotless.
- Luggage storage: Very helpful.
- Car park [free of charge]: A huge win! Free parking is always appreciated.
- Convenience store: They had a little shop, which was handy for snacks and souvenirs.
- Cash withdrawal: I think they did.
- Room service [24-hour]: Yes, but I never ordered it.
- Dry cleaning/Laundry service: Not used.
- Elevator: Essential.
- Pets allowed unavailable: Probably a good thing for some people. I'm a dog person.
- Air conditioning in public area: Yay.
Getting Around:
- Car park [on-site]: Easy parking!
- Taxi service: They can call you one, I’m sure.
- Airport transfer: Probably available.
- Bicycle parking: I saw bicycle parking.
- Car power charging station: Noted, but I did not see one.
- Valet parking: Not sure.
For the Kids:
(I’m not a parent, so take this with a grain of salt…)
- Family/child friendly: Seemed like it! They had "Kids facilities."
- Babysitting service: Available.
- Kids meal: Likely.
Available in all rooms:
- Air conditioning: Yes.
- Alarm clock: Yes.
- Bathrobes: Yes.
- Bathroom phone: Who uses this?
- Blackout curtains: Essential for sleeping in.
- Closet: Functional.
- Coffee/tea maker & Complimentary tea: Bonus points.
- Free bottled water: Good.
- Hair dryer: Yay.
- High floor: Possibly.
- In-room safe box: Always a good idea.
- Internet access – wireless: Yes.
- Ironing facilities: Yes.
- Laptop workspace: Yes.
- Linens: Clean.
- Mini bar: Present (but not stocked with my favorites).
- Non-smoking: Yes.
- Private bathroom: Always.
- Reading light: Yes.
- Refrigerator: Yes.
- Satellite/cable channels: Yes.
- Seating area: Yes.
- Separate shower/bathtub: Yes
- Smoke detector: (Hopefully) yes.
- Socket near the bed: Crucial.
- Sofa: Optional.
- Soundproofing: Pretty good, actually.
- Telephone: I think so.
- Toiletries: Basic.
- Towels: Plenty.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Yes.
- Window that opens: Yes.
The "Dream" Verdict:
So, did the Baden-Württemberg DREAM: Balcony Flat in Bernau im Schwarzwald live up to its name? Ultimately… mostly. It’s a solid choice. The views alone are worth the price of admission. The spa is heavenly. The staff is friendly. The cleanliness is reassuring. It's a place where you can definitely kick
Escape to Paradise: Stunning 's-Gravenzande Holiday Home with Conservatory!
Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is… my Baden-Württemberg, Black Forest, flat-with-a-balcony adventure. And trust me, it's gonna be a wild ride. Prepare for some rambling, some opinions, and probably a whole lot of "Oh, hell no" moments.
Pre-Trip Nervous Breakdown (AKA, the Planning Phase)
Right, so, Bernau im Schwarzwald. Sounds idyllic, right? Woodsy. Fresh air. Maybe a cuckoo clock or two. All the travel blogs promised. I'd been staring at pictures of that balcony for weeks. It was my dream. Before I could book anything with the right dates, I had to consult about 10 different calendars, 4 friends, 2 family members - all with conflicting availability. This is where the first little cracks started to appear. My meticulously color-coded Google Sheet of potential dates slowly devolved into a chaotic mess of crossed-out weekends and desperate pleading emojis. Finally, finally, a date. I booked the flat with the balcony. Exhale. (And then realize you forgot to check the train times. Again.)
The Official (and Utterly Unreliable) Itinerary:
Day 1: Arrival and Initial Panic
- Morning: Wake up in actual reality (read: my cramped apartment, not that damn balcony). Last-minute packing scramble fueled by instant coffee and the terrifying realization that I still haven't found my passport. (Spoiler: it was in the sock drawer. Classic.)
- Afternoon: Travel. Germany here I come! The train ride got delayed by an hour because of a "minor technical issue"… which basically means I was packed into a metal tube with a bunch of other grumpy people from Cologne.
- Late Afternoon: Arrive in Bernau. Breathe. (Or, you know, cough from the train dust.) Find the flat. Pray it's as good as the pictures. Hint: it was. The balcony! The balcony! I almost kissed the railing. The view… breathtaking. Then, the existential dread set in. "What am I supposed to do here?"
- Evening: Venture out for dinner. Tried to be adventurous, ordered something vaguely resembling "Black Forest Pasta". It tasted like… well, let's just say it was a culinary experience. (Translation: it was pasta with something that might maybe have been mushrooms.) Back on the balcony with local wine. Sat there for hours, just… breathing. Bliss. (Plus, a minor panic attack because I realized I hadn't checked the local grocery store hours.)
Day 2: The Hike of Doom (and Glorious Rewards)
- Morning: Convinced myself I was a hiker. I am not. I packed hiking boots. I walked. I looked at the trails. I got lost within 10 minutes. Okay, so maybe not "lost" – more like thoroughly disoriented. The trail signs might as well have been written in ancient hieroglyphs. Eventually, found the "right path". The views? Stunning. The climb? Soul-crushing. I swear, I saw a small, fluffy cloud judging me from the top of the mountain.
- Afternoon: Found a little café (THANK GOD!). Ate the best slice of Black Forest cake I've had in the history of ever. Guiltlessly devoured it and then proceeded to order a second. After it was gone, I immediately felt the calorie count. Regret. Did some more hiking. The hiking got easier, though.
- Evening: Stumbled back to the flat, legs screaming. Balcony time. (Notice a theme?) This time, I'd mastered the art of wine-and-cheese enjoyment! The stars were incredible. Like, actually incredible. Felt a brief moment of tranquility. Then, spent an hour agonizing over whether to buy souvenir cuckoo clock or not.
Day 3: Cuckoo Clocks, Chocolate and Deep-Frying my sanity.
- Morning: Decided cuckoos were too cliché. Went to a local chocolate shop instead. Ate too much chocolate and felt a little ashamed of the sheer volume consumed. (But it was good chocolate, so…)
- Afternoon: Attempted to cook a "German-inspired" meal in the flat. (Pro Tip: don't try to deep-fry anything without a deep fryer. Or any cooking skill. I almost set off the fire alarm.) Ended up eating crackers and cheese on the balcony. Again. Which was fine, actually. It was beautiful.
- Evening: Decided to be "cultured" and go to a local cultural performance. I understood maybe 3 words (out of a 3 hour production), but the music was beautiful. The experience was not really my cup of tea, but it's okay.
Day 4: Bye-bye Balcony (and Hello Real Life)
- Morning: Final balcony coffee. Saying goodbye to that view? Actually heartbreaking. Packed. Felt the bitter sting of reality creeping back in.
- Afternoon: Train home. Felt very sad about everything I wasn't able to do on my trip.
- Evening: Arrive home. Unpack. The apartment felt so much smaller than before, for some reason.
Imperfections, Musings, and Random Thoughts:
- Language Barrier: My German is… rudimentary. I learned the words for "thank you," "beer," and "help." (Mostly in that order of necessity.) I can't understand the local dialect. Half the time, I simply smiled and nodded.
- The Weather: Surprisingly good! (Except, you know, the one day when I attempted to ascend a mountain. See above.)
- Food: Sometimes amazing ( Black Forest cake, cheese ), sometimes… less so. (My cooking skills are still a work in progress.)
- People: The people are lovely, mostly. At least, the ones I could understand were.
- The Balcony: Seriously, the balcony. It was worth every penny, every train delay, every awkward interaction. It was peaceful. It was beautiful. It was, as they say… everything.
- Regrets: I should have learned more German. I should have bought the damn cuckoo clock. I should have stayed longer.
Final Verdict:
This trip wasn't perfect. I didn't do all the things I planned to do. I ate too much chocolate. I got lost. But you know what? It was mine. It was messy and imperfect and full of the things that make travel so worthwhile. And now I have to make dinner… I'm making myself cry.
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Baden-Württemberg DREAM: Balcony Flat in Bernau im Schwarzwald! - FAQ (and a little bit of me...)
Okay, so... what *is* this "Balcony Flat in Bernau"? Sounds idyllic, right?
Right? That's what *I* thought! "Balcony Flat in Bernau im Schwarzwald" – it just rolls off the tongue like a Black Forest gateau, only promising far more than just sugar and calories. Basically, it's a holiday rental in Bernau, a tiny little town nestled in the Black Forest. Picture postcard stuff. Think cuckoo clocks, crisp mountain air, and the potential for serious hiking. The "balcony" bit? Well, from the photos, it looked like a place where I could finally, *finally*, drink my morning coffee outdoors without being harassed by rogue pigeons. Blessedly, it looked cozy and had a kitchen, which was immediately a huge win since I'm allergic to fancy restaurant food. The reality...? We'll get to that.
What's Bernau like, in a nutshell? And should *I* visit?
Bernau… hmm. Okay, nutshell time. It's *pretty*. Like, overwhelmingly pretty. Think chocolate box villages, the kind your grandma used to keep on her mantelpiece. Seriously, every other house looked like it was straight out of a fairytale. The people are super friendly (once you get past the initial, slightly bewildered stares at a tourist like me), and the air? Forget what I said before about the pigeons: the air smells like *clean*. Like, "freshly-washed-sheets-on-a-mountain-breeze" clean.
Should *you* visit? Well… depends on your personality, really. If you crave the chaotic energy of a big city, or get itchy feet without constant stimulation, maybe not. If you're looking to unplug, hike 'til your legs ache, and stuff your face with ridiculously good Black Forest cake, then *absolutely*, yes. I'm gonna throw in a caveat: I am a city person, in the truest sense of the word. The quiet kinda got… too quiet, after a while. I need people-watching, traffic noise, and the general hum of urban life to feel truly alive, but that's *me*. YMMV. (Your Mileage May Vary," for the uninitiated; I learned that from a particularly enthusiastic car enthusiast I once dated. Don't ask.)
The Balcony Flat! Spill the tea! What was it *really* like?
Okay, okay, the balcony flat. Here's the unvarnished truth. The building itself? Charming. That "cozy" feeling I craved? Nailed it. It felt like stepping into someone's grandmother’s lovingly decorated flat. The kitchen? Small, but functional. The balcony? Oh, the balcony… that was the dream.
The initial joy faded, though. I discovered, rather quickly, that my grand plans of writing the Great American Novel on the balcony, sipping espresso, were slightly… optimistic. The weather in the Black Forest is notoriously fickle. One minute it’s sunshine and rainbows, the next you're getting pelted with hail the size of marbles. My "writing retreat" ended up being more of a "huddle-inside-with-a-blanket-and-a-strong-cup-of-tea" kinda thing. And then there was the internet. Let's just say it was about as reliable as a one-legged Swiss watchmaker. I had to go to the local library (which, in fairness, was gorgeous) to get any work done. It was… humbling. And, honestly? Kind of hilarious, in retrospect.
Did you do any hiking? Because, you know, Black Forest.
Oh, *did* I hike! Or, at least, I attempted to. I am, let's be honest, not a hiker. I'm more of a "gentle stroll in a park" kinda person. But, you know, when in Rome… or, rather, when in the Black Forest… I chose a "beginner-friendly" trail. Famous last words, people. It started off beautifully. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and I felt like a character in The Sound of Music. Then the hills got steeper. And steeper. And my legs started to scream. And the "beginner-friendly" trail morphed into a vertical climb that made me question all my life choices.
I fell. Twice. Once, I slid down a muddy slope like a rejected contestant on Wipeout. My dignity was severely damaged. At the end of it, I probably walked like a wounded penguin for a week. But you know what? The view from the top? Absolutely breathtaking. Worth every aching muscle, every scraped knee, and every moment of self-doubt. The Black Forest earned my respect that day, even if my legs haven't quite forgiven me. And I’ll probably never wear skinny jeans on a hike again. Lesson Learned.
Food! What kind of food did you get to, and where can I get some of the Black Forest cake?
The food! Ah, the food. This is where the Black Forest *truly* shines. I was in heaven. There's the classic, of course: Black Forest cake. You can find it *everywhere*, and it's all delicious. I went to at least three different bakeries, and I have to admit I cried when I left the area.
But beyond the cake, things are good. I ate *tons* of Spätzle (egg noodles) with all sorts of things – cheese, mushrooms, onions, you name it. The local sausages are incredible, perfectly grilled. And of course, the copious amounts of beer. Oh, *the* beer. I ended up in a little place one night, a *gasthaus*, tucked away on a side street, where the locals and I were, I think, the only people who spoke English. And there I had a plate of pork knuckle, and it was amazing.
Where to get some of the cake? Well, ANY bakery in Bernau is probably going to be amazing and you can be sure of good quality. Just wandering around, you won't be short of places to choose from. If you are in the area, though, just ask the hotel staff where they go, and I'm sure you will be more than satisfied.
Any downsides? Be honest!
Okay, okay, here we go. The downsides… As mentioned before, the internet can be… unreliable. Pack a book. Or three. And be prepared to embrace the digital detox. Which, in fairness, can be a plus. Also, and this is purely a personal thing, I missed the constant buzz of city life. The silence, after a few days, started to feel strangely…loud. There's not a whole lot to *do* in Bernau itself, beyond hiking and admiring the scenery. If you're easily bored, you might find yourself itching to head elsewhere. The shops are small and the restaurants, while good, are not *diverse*. And, letHotel Safari
