Amsterdam Farmhouse Romance: Forest Escape Awaits!
Amsterdam Farmhouse Romance: Forest Escape Awaits! - A Chaotic, Confused, and Ultimately, Kind of Wonderful Review
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your typical, polished hotel review. This is a chaotic, honest, and slightly breathless recounting of my recent stay at the Amsterdam Farmhouse Romance: Forest Escape Awaits! This place… well, it left a mark. And not all of it was perfectly smooth.
Keywords: Amsterdam Farmhouse Romance, Forest Escape, Amsterdam Hotels, Netherlands Hotels, Spa Hotel Amsterdam, Wheelchair Accessible Amsterdam, Pet-Friendly Amsterdam, Family-Friendly Hotels Amsterdam, Romantic Getaway Amsterdam, Accessible Hotels Netherlands, Dutch Countryside Hotels
Right from the jump, let's get it out of the way. I was really looking forward to this. The website was dreamy – rolling green hills, cozy fireplaces, promises of a 'forest escape' and romance. I needed that, bad. Life had been a blender, and I was vaguely resembling a slightly bruised smoothie. So, Amsterdam Farmhouse Romance, here I come!
Accessibility - (Mostly) a Win!
Now, I’m not in a wheelchair, but I am traveling with my Aunt Millie who is. This was a big selling point. The website touted accessibility, and thankfully, it wasn't just lip service. Wheelchair accessible areas were noticeably well-thought-out, from ramps to wider doorways. A huge relief! They even had Elevators, praise be! (Coming from a history of stairs-only stays, this was a godsend for poor Millie). We also noticed ample Facilities for disabled guests, like grab bars in the bathroom. However, the path to the 'Outdoor pool' was tricky, some pathways a bit uneven, which was a slight bummer. But overall, thumbs up for effort and execution. HUGE kudos!
Cleanliness and Safety - (Feeling Pretty Safe)
Okay, this part was crucial (thanks, 2024). They were clearly taking things seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, check. Daily disinfection in common areas, check. Staff trained in safety protocol, check! They had Hand sanitizer stations everywhere. I even felt comfortable enough to almost forget about the germy world outside. They also had those, you know the things, Hotel chain, CCTV in common areas, Check-in/out [private]. All good, but what did I find out of the blue? First aid kit, good to know right?
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - (A Deliciously Mixed Bag)
The food… oh boy. This is where things got wonderfully messy.
The Asian Breakfast: Surprisingly good! The restaurant had a strong Asian cuisine in restaurant lean, alongside a Western breakfast. Honestly, I went for both! The Coffee/tea in restaurant was free flowing also, and the desserts in restaurant were divine!
Room Service (24-hour): A lifesaver at 2 AM when Millie got a craving for something – Bottle of water in particular! The menu was vast, and the staff were surprisingly cheerful at that hour.
Poolside Bar: This was a serious highlight. Sipping cocktails by the Swimming pool [outdoor] was pure bliss. The Happy hour specials were a steal. Be warned: the cocktails are dangerously delicious.
Restaurant Ramblings: There's a Vegetarian restaurant, and they have a Buffet in restaurant also, so you can take your shots!
Things to Do, Ways to Relax - (Spa Day! And Maybe a Gym Visit?)
- The Spa: This was my main goal! And it didn't disappoint. The Sauna was hot and steamy. Massage, absolutely essential! Their signature "Forest Escape" massage was… ethereal. I think I briefly achieved nirvana. The Spa/sauna was amazing!
- Pool with View: The view from the pool… breathtaking. I spent hours there, just staring at the trees and pretending I didn't have a to-do list a mile long.
- Body Scrub: I needed that way more than I was willing to admit beforehand.
- Gym/fitness I intended to go (they had a Fitness center, yeah), but the lure of the spa… well, it won. Next time.
Rooms and Amenities - (Super Cozy, with a Few Quirks)
- The Bed: Oh, the bed! Extra long bed, soft sheets, and a perfect duvet. I could have stayed in that bed forever. Blackout curtains, bless them, because I needed sleep.
- The Bathroom: Huge, with a Separate shower/bathtub. They even had Bathrobes! And Complimentary tea setup inside the room. The Hair dryer saved my sanity (thank god!).
- Internet: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hooray! I needed to check a few emails. But it was… patchy at times.
- Rooms that opened up to the outside: Beautiful, really beautiful, but not everything on the ground floor had them, so I took what I could get.
- Fridge: I did, however, wish it could have fitted more than the Mini bar things!
Services and Conveniences - (Generally Pretty Helpful)
- The Concierge: Super helpful. Got us a taxi arranged and helped with ideas for day trips and Food delivery from some local restaurants.
- Laundry: I needed this desperately.
- Daily housekeeping: Cleaned up my mess. I am a mess.
- Cashless payment service. So convenient!
For the Kids - (I'm Not a Parent, but…)
I don’t have kids, but I noticed the hotel was very Family/child friendly. They had Babysitting service, Kids facilities, and Kids meal. It all looked very well-cared-for.
Getting Around - (Easy Peasy!)
- Car park [free of charge]. Awesome.
- Taxi Service: Easy to hail.
The Imperfect Bits - (Because No Place is Perfect!)
- Noise: Some Soundproof rooms, but my first night? Oh, the noise. Between the distant party and the loud plumbing, I barely slept. I mentioned this and got moved, which was fantastic.
- The Forest: The one thing I'm pretty sure they can't manage is the soundproofing!
- Sometimes, things aren't perfect: Don't expect perfection, people! Things go a little sideways sometimes.
Overall - (Would I Go Back?)
Yes. Absolutely, yes. Despite the occasional hiccup, this place captured my heart. Amsterdam Farmhouse Romance is a haven. It’s a place where you can truly disconnect, recharge, and maybe even have a little romance of your own. The staff is genuinely kind, the spa is divine, and the setting is breathtaking. It’s got its quirks, but that's part of its charm. So, if you're looking for a getaway that's a little bit messy, a little bit magical, and a whole lot of fun, then this forest escape is for you. Just pack your patience and your sense of humor!
Final Verdict: 4 out of 5 stars!
Selci, Italy: Your Dream Poolside Holiday Home Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this itinerary is less "smooth sailing" and more "slightly wobbly rowboat in a charmingly choppy canal." We're talking a Romantic Farmhouse Deep Dive in the Netherlands, and frankly, I need this more than I need oxygen.
The "Amsterdam & Ambivalence" Itinerary (a.k.a. My Brain Dump in Tulip-Land)
Day 1: The Arrival & The Almost-Disaster (Amsterdam Airport Schiphol & the Farmhouse, God Help Us)
- Morning (9:00 AM Amsterdam Time): Touchdown! Schiphol Airport. Okay, I'm already judging everyone. Why are there so many impeccably dressed Dutch people? Do they just know how to look effortlessly chic? I, on the other hand, resemble a crumpled map after a particularly stressful game of Monopoly. Finding baggage claim – done!
- Morning (10:00 AM): Train to wherever-the-heck-we-are-going-that-sounds-like-a-farmhouse-in-romantic-countryside. I think I bought the right ticket. The ticket machine was in Dutch. My Dutch consists of "Dank u wel" (thank you), "Ik wil graag een biertje" (I would like a beer – important), and "Zou je het kunnen herhalen?" (Could you repeat that?), which I'm prepared to use approximately 87 times.
- Morning (11:30 AM): Train arrives at a tiny station. So far, so storybook. Now to find the transfer to the 'farmhouse'. I was supposed to have booked a taxi. Did I? I swear I did. Oh god, I didn't. Deep breath. Google Maps it is.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): The farmhouse! Actually, it's even more charming than the pictures. It's rustic. Okay, maybe slightly dilapidated. The garden has a certain wild, untamed beauty, kinda like my eyebrows. The host(ess) seem to be busy with other things. We will settle down on our own.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): Unpacking – or rather, attempting to unpack. My suitcase exploded at the arrival of the farmhouse so I guess, no unpacking today.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): The search of the local supermarket. I have no idea what anything is. I grab a loaf of bread, some cheese that smells suspiciously like old socks, and a bottle of something labeled "Bubbels". Let's hope it's prosecco.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner: Bread, cheese, "Bubbels". And I suddenly crave crisps. A lot. I settle with my disappointment. But hey, the sunset over the fields is breathtaking. Maybe this is what all this fuss is about.
Day 2: Amsterdam – Canal Dreams and Existential Crises
- Morning (9:00 AM): Train to Amsterdam! Feeling slightly more confident on public transport today. The train is packed with teenagers and people with really, really cool bicycles. I feel like a confused walrus trying to navigate a roller rink.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Canal Cruise! The canals are gorgeous, like a postcard come to life. I almost fell over the side trying to take a picture. My own ineptitude on display for the world to see. The narration is about boat construction and history: it’s surprisingly boring, I am bored.
- Morning (11:30 AM): I'm hungry. So, so hungry. Find a 'brown cafe' and order "bitterballen.” Deep fried balls of something. Delicious, and incredibly bad for me.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Van Gogh Museum? I'm not sure if I'm actually into art. I'll probably only be moved.
- My Actual Experience: The Van Gogh Museum was a revelation. Not only were his paintings stunning – the colors, the textures! – but the sheer emotional weight of his life… it hit me. I actually cried. Seriously. Me. The person who considers "art appreciation" a euphemism for "standing awkwardly in a room."
- Afternoon (3:30 PM): Trying to do some shopping. Failed. I'm drawn to the most garish souvenir shops, which is probably the definition of tourism.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner: Indonesian food. I'm not entirely sure what I ordered, but it's spicy and delicious. Trying to navigate eating with chopsticks. It is a humbling experience.
- Evening (8:30 PM): Walk along the canals at night. So romantic. Almost as romantic as accidentally stepping in something squishy. (It was probably a dog.)
Day 3: Farmhouse Frolicking & Forestry Failures
- Morning (9:00 AM): Wake up in my old-fashioned bed. The sun is a welcome sight. I might just have a cup of tea and admire the view. I should probably do some laundry soon.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Nature walk in the nearby forest. I am going to commune with nature! This is going to be so… therapeutic… I'm basically Bear Grylls, but holding a map instead of a machete.
- Reality Check: I got hopelessly lost, nearly stepped on something that might have been a badger, and discovered I am profoundly allergic to something. My face is now a puffy, itchy mess.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Picnic lunch in the garden. I brought some of my supplies. I forgot the bottle opener so I have to go look for a 'Bubbels' bottle-opening solution.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): I'm going to ride a bike! It's going to be like "Wind in the Willows" but with less charm. And probably more accidents.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM): The bike worked! I am now an expert (relatively). I've seen the countryside. I'm even starting to enjoy the fact that I'm an idiot.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner: Experimenting with cooking with the products of the supermarket. I think I know how to cook. I don't. But the wine is lovely.
- Evening (8:00 PM): Stargazing. The moon appears to be out.
Day 4: Goodbye, Netherlands (and Hello, Real Life)
- Morning (8:00 AM): Pack. Which is a bigger challenge than I thought.
- Morning (9:00 AM): One last stroll through the garden, soaking up the serenity. I feel a weird mix of sadness and relief.
- Morning (10:00 AM): Travel to the airport.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM): At the airport, I am very aware of my 'tourist' appearance. I'm exhausted, slightly grumpy, but also, strangely, changed. The Netherlands, you weird, wonderful place. I might not be chic, but I'm me. And that, apparently, is enough.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): The plane. I'm leaving the Netherlands
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): Goodbye.
Post-Trip Ramblings:
- I’m still not sure what I ate half the time. But the energy of the place, the openness, the sheer beauty… it burrowed its way under my skin.
- The imperfections? Absolutely part of the charm. The missed trains, the allergic reaction, the culinary disasters… those are the stories I'll tell.
- I need a vacation from my vacation. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe next time, I'll actually learn some Dutch. And pack a darn bottle opener.
- And finally, I'm grateful. For the chance to wander aimlessly, to get lost, to feel, and to be, truly, myself.
So, yeah. That's my messy, honest, hilarious, and entirely human Amsterdam adventure. Hope you enjoyed the ride! And don't judge my packing skills. Or my face rash.
Escape to Paradise: Stunning 's-Gravenzande Holiday Home with Conservatory!
Amsterdam Farmhouse Romance: Forest Escape Awaits! - Honestly, What's the Deal? (FAQ that's *Actually* Useful)
Okay, first things first: Is this *actually* romantic? Considering it's a *farmhouse*... does that mean I'll be elbow-deep in manure?
Alright, alright, let's be real. "Romance" and "farmhouse" can conjure up some... *interesting* images. Thankfully, this particular farmhouse isn't your stereotypical, overalls-clad, pig-sty kind of place. Phew! It's more like, the kind of place that *wants* to be romantic. Think rustic charm, cozy fireplaces, exposed beams... the Instagram aesthetic, basically. (Though, let's be honest, Instagram always lies a little.)
So, yes, it *can* be romantic. Whether it actually *is* depends on you. If you're looking to cuddle up with your sweetheart and watch the rain fall on the cobblestone path, then perfect. If you’re expecting a Michelin-star meal and a butler? Maybe lower your expectations. Just saying. The closest I got to real drama was the time I mistook the outside compost pile for the actual path at night. Awkward. And, yes, manure *is* in the general vicinity. But thankfully, not directly *involved* in the romance. Thank goodness!
The advert says "Forest Escape." How much "escape" are we talking? Is it truly a secluded hideaway, or more like... a polite walk in the woods?
Okay, the forest. The *promise* of a forest! This is a big one, because the advertisement went on about birdsong and the rustling leaves. I pictured walking into the woods and feeling like a woodland sprite! In reality? You're *near* the woods. Like, a short, slightly muddy, walk to the woods. I was anticipating Narnia, but it was more like, well... Amsterdam's version of a park.
Don't get me wrong, the forest is lovely. Really! A little green, a little fresh air, a chance to pretend you're lost in a fairytale. You can totally lose yourself if you *really* try. Though, I did manage to get turned around once and ended up very, very close to a very, very grumpy looking farmer and his very, very annoyed cows! So maybe, be prepared for a little more adventure than you anticipated. Bring a map. And maybe some emergency chocolate. Always a good idea! And maybe a whistle. Just in case. You never know when you’ll need to blow one and find your way.
Food! What's the grub situation? Michelin star dining? Simple, rustic fare? Or... is it "make your own sandwich" kind of deal?
Oh, the food! This is where things get... variable. The website *hints* at delicious local produce and farm-to-table goodness. Truth? It’s hit or miss (mostly miss for me, but that’s OKAY because I’m picky). Some things are great, and some things are just... okay. The breakfasts were fine (croissants and coffee, that’s always a win). Dinners if you got them, may be cooked by someone else. It’s not fine dining, but it's passable. Think hearty, comforting, and a bit heavy on the carbs.
My biggest food memory, oh goodness. One night, there was this *amazing* apple pie, baked fresh. To *die* for! I ate three slices! The next day? The same apple pie, suspiciously still in the same state, slightly less fresh. I think I would have died again if I ate it, so I didn’t. Lesson learned! Check the expiry dates, people! And pack some snacks. Just in case. You never know. Don't be surprised if there are some things that have the potential to go wrong.
What's the vibe like? Is it couples-only, or will I be sharing the cozy fireplace with a family of six?
The vibe? It depends. On the time of year, the bookings, and, honestly, on the luck of the draw. They definitely *aim* for couples. The whole "romantic escape" thing is their selling point, right? So, the atmosphere is generally pretty chill. But, you might get a few families. Sometimes you hear kids! The horror!
My experience had a lot of couples, but there was a time when a family with three kids was in the next room. That made things interesting. Let's just say, the "romantic" atmosphere took a hit when there was screaming at 7 in the morning. I'm not the best when it comes to getting up early. So maybe call ahead and check who is staying!
The small print: are there hidden costs? What about internet? Is the hot water always hot?
Ah, the *details*. The stuff they conveniently leave out in the glossy brochures! Hidden costs? Potentially. Check the fine print. Seriously, *read it*. Extra charges for firewood? Drinks that aren't included? It happens. Internet? Expect it to be patchy at best. You're in the countryside, remember? You're escaping, not taking the internet with you.
Hot water? Ah, that's the big one. It’s hit or miss to be honest. One room I stayed at had wonderful, scalding hot water. The next one? Lukewarm, at best. The key is to take a bath as soon as you arrive or before anything. Or, pray to the hot water gods. That seems to help. The hot water is *supposed* to be reliable, but be prepared for the occasional chilly shower. And always, ALWAYS, check the water pressure before you settle in. And pack a good book for those times you are waiting for the hot water to arrive.
Is it worth the cost? I'm a budget traveler, but I *do* like a good romantic getaway.
Worth the cost? That's the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Honestly, it depends. If you're expecting perfection, maybe not. If you're looking for a truly luxurious experience? Probably not. If you're a budget traveler, maybe look out for deals. But *is* it worth it? Maybe. The memories. The time away from the screen. The quiet. Those are all worth something, right?
For me it’s a yes. (Mostly.) I'm a sucker for a pretty setting (even if it's slightly less perfect than advertised), the promise of romance, and a chance to switch off. And the apple pie. Can't forget the apple pie! But always bring a back-up plan. A good book, some snacks, and low expectations. That’s the recipe for a good time!
