Escape to Arnhem: Luxurious Green Lodge with TWO Bathrooms!
Escape to Arnhem: Luxurious Green Lodge with TWO Bathrooms! - My Chaotic, Wonderful Experience
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I’m about to unleash a review that’s less "polished travel brochure" and more "unfiltered diary entry." We're talking about the Escape to Arnhem, that supposed palace of relaxation, and I've just emerged, blinking in the sunlight, completely frazzled but also… strangely rejuvenated? Prepare for a rollercoaster, because this place is a LOT.
Keywords for the Google Gods (because I really want you to find this, Google): Arnhem, luxury lodge, green lodge, Netherlands, two bathrooms, accessible, spa, pool, fitness center, wifi, restaurant, wheelchair accessible, family friendly, dog-friendly (sort of!), review, travel, vacation, wellness.
Let's start with the basics. Accessibility: This is where things get interesting. The brochure promised wheelchair accessibility, and, well, mostly delivered. The main areas – reception, restaurant, the pool – were smooth sailing. The elevators are a godsend. But navigating the pathways to some of the lodges? Let's just say my partner, bless her heart, had to provide some serious muscle to get the chair over a few sneaky little bumps. Note to the hotel: While you're amazing, maybe resurface a few of those paths? Small thing, but it makes a big difference.
Now, the lodge itself… the promised two bathrooms. GOLD. Pure, unadulterated, bathroom-related GOLD. Seriously, for a couple that loves its space (and, let's be honest, avoids each other during morning rituals), this was a game-changer. One for her, one for me. Peace. Quiet. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bathroom bliss. They were spotless, modern, and equipped with all the essentials. (Air conditioning, check! Hair dryer? Check! Bathrobes? Double-check!) They even had those adorable little complimentary toiletries – I snagged a few, don't judge.
The Green Bit: They really lean into the "green" thing. The lodge is nestled in… well, green stuff. Trees, bushes, all sorts of leafy things. Makes for a fantastically relaxing vibe. You feel like you're escaping somewhere. I think that's the whole point. They do seem to have a strong emphasis on environmental sustainability, which is commendable. It is in a gorgeous location.
Room for Improvement (and a Story about a Coffee Spill):
Okay, the internet situation. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Except… well, it occasionally decided to take a nap. There were a few frustrating moments where I was wrestling with my laptop, desperate to connect with the outside world. (You know I have deadlines!) I'm not sure if it was a bad router, or a herd of rogue hamsters chewing through the cables. But it did make a work call slightly less professional.
I’m getting ahead of myself. Back to the room! It was lovely, I must admit. Big, comfortable bed (extra-long, in fact!), a seating area for lounging, and that essential coffee/tea maker. I have to tell you about the coffee catastrophe. It's my fault. I'm clumsy. I was rushing, bleary-eyed, and I completely spilled the entire pot of coffee all over the desk. It was a disaster! Coffee everywhere! Luckily, no one saw but me, but I was mortified. (Shoutout to the fabulous housekeeping staff who cleaned up my mess with a smile).
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (AKA, the Pursuit of Happiness through Food):
The restaurant – oh, the restaurant! We had the Asian breakfast one morning – delicious! The other mornings it was the (delicious too!) Western Breakfast, which included a buffet with everything you could want. The staff were super helpful about dietary requirements. The restaurants included A la carte in restaurant, which was nice. The bar had a great vibe. The Poolside bar was excellent, with some light snacks, and a very fun, if boisterous, happy hour. (I had the worst hangover after that first happy hour of the trip. I blame that delicious Dutch beer!). The food options were diverse, but the quality was generally very high. (I'm drooling just remembering it!)
Oh, and they catered to dietary requirements. I'm vegetarian, and the staff were really helpful. Plus, they had a very interesting soup.
Spa-tacular! The Spa/Sauna/Steamroom/Pool with a View Experience:
The Spa was heaven. Honestly, I spent a solid chunk of my vacation in the Sauna and Steamroom. The Pool with view was also spectacular. They had a whole menu of treatments. I had a Body scrub and a Massage. Let's just say I emerged feeling like a new person. Seriously, they pulled knots out of my back I didn’t even know existed. It was worth every penny. And shoutout to the staff who were incredibly friendly and attentive.
They had a gym/fitness center, because clearly, I don't get enough exercise…
Cleanliness and Safety: The Pandemic Edition:
This hotel is a stickler for hygiene, which made me feel a million times safer. Anti-viral cleaning products, check. Rooms sanitized between stays, check. Hand sanitizer stations everywhere, check. Staff trained in safety protocol, check. They were taking the whole COVID thing very seriously, and I appreciated it. The Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Safe dining setups… it was all reassuring. Bonus points for the Cashless payment service.
The Little Things (Services and Conveniences):
The concierge was super helpful. They helped me with everything from booking taxis to finding a good hiking route. The Daily housekeeping was excellent, and my room was always gleaming. They had a Convenience store. The Elevator was good and clean. They offer Laundry service, but I couldn't be bothered. This hotel is good.
For the Kids:
I did see some families there. They had some Kids facilities, and a Babysitting service was available.
Getting Around:
Airport transfer? Yes! Car park [free of charge]? Big yes! Car park [on-site]? Yes! There are even Car power charging stations, which is a win for the eco-conscious traveller.
The Verdict:
Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Despite the occasional Wi-Fi hiccup, the slightly bumpy paths, and my own clumsiness, the Escape to Arnhem is a fantastic place to relax and rejuvenate. It’s not perfect, but it's got character. It's green. It's luxurious. And… it has TWO BATHROOMS! Run, don't walk. Just maybe pack some comfortable shoes and a sense of humor. You'll need it.
Escape to Paradise: Your Private Pool Awaits in Hautefort, France
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive HEADFIRST into a chaotic, beautiful, and hopefully hilarious weekend in Arnhem, Netherlands. Forget pristine travel guides; you're getting the REAL deal. Imagine a travel itinerary scribbled on a napkin, stained with coffee and existential dread… and here we go!
Arnhem Adventure: A Weekend of Green, Gaffes, and Gratitude (Probably in that Order)
Accommodation: The Green Retreat (or, "Praying for Enough Towels")
First things first: the lodge. We're aiming for that "Modern lodge with two bathrooms within green surroundings." Sounds idyllic, right? Right. Until you arrive and realize "green surroundings" means "possible frog-based roommates." (And the towels? God, please let there BE enough.) My emotional reaction? Pure, unadulterated relief if it's clean and the wifi works. Anything beyond that is gravy. Hoping it's not one of those places that feels like it was decorated by someone who really loved Ikea and felt very strongly about beige.
(Pre-Travel Rambling & Internal Panic – Because Let's Be Honest)
- The Packing Predicament: Is it too much to bring all my shoes? Probably. Am I going to anyway? Maybe. (I'm a sucker for a good ankle boot.) Plus, Dutch weather is notoriously fickle. Raincoat? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Sense of adventure? Muttering… also, check.
- The Flight Fiasco (Potentially): Praying my luggage doesn't end up in, say, Ulaanbaatar. Or worse, with someone else who packed better. (I'm a chronic over-packer, okay?)
- The Mental Prep: Okay, me. Deep breaths. Think happy thoughts. Arnhem! Nature! Relaxation… chuckles nervously (I'm terrible at relaxing).
Day 1: Arrival, Arden, and Awkward Encounters (and hopefully, cheese)
- Morning (Let's Assume a Peaceful Beginning… maybe):
- Arrive at Schiphol Airport (Amsterdam) – the usual crush of humanity, the slight smell of airplane fuel, the desperate search for a usable plug socket.
- Train to Arnhem: The scenery better be spectacular. I expect windmills, canals, and possibly a friendly cow. (Dutch cows are reputedly very friendly.)
- Check in to the lodge. Unpack (attempt to organize the shoe collection, inevitably fail). Bathroom assessment – this is crucial.
- Lunch (The Fueling Station): Find a charming cafe. I'm thinking outdoor seating. And a massive sandwich with so much cheese it can barely contain itself. (I've been dreaming of Gouda, okay?) Maybe attempt some basic Dutch phrases. "Een broodje kaas, alsjeblieft" might be the extent of my linguistic prowess. Expect to embarrass myself. Embrace it.
- Afternoon: Into the Green – The National Park 'De Hoge Veluwe' Stroll (And Potential Frog Frights)
- Head to the Hoge Veluwe National Park – the main event! Bikes! Sculptures! Beautiful, beautiful scenery! I'm picturing myself cycling gracefully through dappled sunlight, a modern-day Dutch goddess. Reality? Probably more like a wobbly, panicked cyclist desperately trying not to run over a squirrel.
- The Kröller-Müller Museum: Van Gogh! More sculptures! This is the part where I try to act cultured. I'm hoping the art inspires me, and maybe makes me believe that i am artistic.
- The whole biking thing.. again.. will i find a good bike? will i fall? will i embarass myself?
- Evening (The Culinary Crucible):
- Dinner in Arnhem: Find a restaurant with a cozy atmosphere. I need a good meal after all that biking (or, you know, avoiding squirrels). Hoping for hearty Dutch fare. Maybe some bitterballen (deep-fried meatballs). I've heard they're addictive. And that's the kind of commitment I'm here for.
- Back to the lodge: Attempt to organize the photos I've taken. Probably fail miserably. Crack open a bottle of wine. Stare at the stars. Feel vaguely philosophical (or just tired).
- Nightmare: I'll be so tired that I'll fall asleep and miss a whole night of enjoyment, or the frogs will be there.
Day 2: History, Horticulture, and Hangry Tourists
- Morning (The Historical Pilgrimage):
- Visit the Airborne Museum "Hartenstein" in Oosterbeek:. This sounds heavy. I'm anticipating some serious historical reflection (and maybe a few tears). I'm hoping to gain a deeper understanding of the Battle of Arnhem. It will be an intense moment, a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit.
- After that I'll go and try some local bakeries.
- Lunch (Fueling the Adventure, Take 2):
- This time, not just dutch food. I'm aiming for the best food that the city has to offer.
- Try out some new places, I'm open to ideas.
- Afternoon (Immersed in Nature and Flowers):
- The Burgers' Zoo! I love animals! I'm going to get lost in the rainforest exhibit, I hope i see some cool animals, and maybe some weird exotic plants.
- The gardens: I'm also going to visit the gardens. I'm a sucker for colorful flowers and well-manicured lawns.
- Evening (The Departure Dilemma and the Gratitude Glut):
- Last dinner. It must be special. Maybe a place with live music. Or maybe a restaurant where I won't accidentally spill red wine all over myself.
- Pack. (The dreaded moment.) Try to squeeze everything back into my suitcase. Fail. Consider abandoning some items.
- Reflect on the weekend. What did I learn (besides the fact that I'm even worse at biking than I thought)? What made me laugh? What made me feel? (Hopefully, everything).
- Be extremely grateful for the whole experience.
- Head back to reality: And hope I have enough energy to unpack everything and do laundry.
(The Epilogue (Or, The Post-Trip Meltdown))
- The Journey Home: Airport shenanigans. Long flight. Wishing I'd bought more Gouda.
- The Aftermath: Recovering from jet lag. Looking at all the photos. Already planning my return trip. (Because, let's be honest, Arnhem, you've got me.)
- Final Thoughts: Arnhem, you were a glorious mess. You were beautiful. You were challenging. And I, for one, had a hell of a time. And hopefully, the frogs were kind.
So, what *is* this "Escape to Arnhem" place even *supposed* to be? Like, is it a real lodge? Is it actually *green*? And are those two bathrooms REALLY worth the hype?
Okay, okay, you've sold me on the bathrooms. But what about the *lodge* itself? What kind of amenities are we talking? Is it a spa? A gym? Do they have a decent coffee machine? (Priorities, people!)
Let's be real, though. Everything ALWAYS looks picture-perfect online. What are the hidden downsides you're secretly worried about? What's the catch?
Okay, fine, you've successfully scared me a little. How do I actually *book* this place? And, more importantly, am I going to *get* the dates I want?
What if I go and it's a complete disaster? What if the bathrooms are tiny? The coffee is terrible? The "luxury" is more like "barely adequate"?
After all this, do you actually *recommend* "Escape to Arnhem"?
