Escape to Paradise: This Restored Bertrix Farmhouse Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Or at Least, A Decent Break from the Madness – A Review of the Bertrix Farmhouse Re-imagined
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Okay, so "Escape to Paradise" might be a smidge over the top. But, let's be honest, after the year we've all had, the promise of any escape, especially one involving a restored farmhouse nestled in the Belgian countryside, has some serious appeal. So, I recently took the plunge and booked a stay at the Bertrix Farmhouse (or at least, that's what I'm calling it until they tell me otherwise!), and here's the unvarnished truth… in all its messy glory.
First Impressions: A Blend of Rustic Charm and Modern Conveniences (Plus a Minor Panic Attack About the Directions)
Driving through the Ardennes is beautiful. Seriously, postcard-worthy. Except, I'm utterly directionally challenged. I might have taken a wrong turn (or five) before finally stumbling upon the farmhouse. My inner monologue, during those last few minutes? Let's just say it involved a lot of panicked muttering and a desperate search for a decent signal on my phone. (Which, thankfully, they did have - more on that juicy detail later when we get to Internet Access)
But, whew, when I finally arrived, the place was immediately soothing. The exterior? Classic farmhouse, all exposed stone and charmingly wonky windows. You could practically smell the history. And, thankfully, the Car Park [on-site] was indeed free of charge! Small victory, but a victory nonetheless.
Accessibility: Thumbs Up (Mostly)
As someone who sometimes needs to consider accessibility, I was genuinely pleased. The Facilities for disabled guests were definitely present, which included things like an Elevator (thank heavens, no lugging suitcases up flights of stairs!), and what appeared to be ramp access to certain areas. I didn't see an overly detailed description, but they definitely tried. And that goes a looooong way, especially when you know the challenges behind restoration projects like this one.
Rooms: Cozy, Comfortable, and (Thank Heavens) Blackout Curtains
My room? A haven. Let's start with the little things: Bathrobes. Always a win. Complimentary tea and Coffee/tea maker? Fantastic. Especially at 6 AM, when jet lag decides to say "Bonjour!" And the Blackout curtains? Lifesaver. Seriously, folks, they're essential. The bathroom was clean, the Shower pressure was decent (a crucial detail in my book), and everything just felt right after a long drive. I also noted: Daily housekeeping, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Ironing facilities and a Mirror you could actually see yourself in. These are not always givens, and I'm grateful for each of them.
There were also the expected amenities like Air conditioning, Satellite/cable channels, Free Wi-Fi (Hallelujah!), and a Desk to actually work from if one was so inclined. (I wasn't, but it was there, and appreciated.) I noticed there was also the option for an Interconnecting room(s) available, which is great if you're traveling with family.
Dining: A Culinary Adventure? (Mostly… with a Side of Overeating)
Okay, let's get to the important stuff: Dining, drinking, and snacking. Holy moly, did they deliver on this front! The Breakfast [buffet] was an absolute feast! Think mountains of pastries, fresh fruit, eggs cooked every which way, and enough coffee to fuel a small army. And yes, they had that glorious, creamy Asian breakfast (I love it so much!), which was amazing! I shamelessly overate, then went back for seconds (and thirds… don't judge).
The Restaurant itself offered a good selection, too. I tried the A la carte in restaurant options more than once; mostly Western cuisine, but with some interesting twists. I also saw a great selection of Desserts in restaurant. There was even a Vegetarian restaurant option, which I didn't try, but that's a nice touch. The Poolside bar was very convenient, too. I may have sampled more than one cocktail while lounging by the pool…
Now, a small, minor quibble: service could be a little slow sometimes. But, honestly, I was on vacation. What's the rush?
Relaxation and Wellness: Pool Dreams and Sauna Delights (and Maybe a Body Wrap… I Think)
Alright, the stuff that really mattered. The Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor], and Sauna were… heavenly. I spent a good chunk of my time immersed in them all. The Pool with view was amazing – a real moment of zen looking out over the countryside. I didn't quite make it to the Gym/fitness center - I was too busy with the sauna, swimming and lounging – but it was there, and seemed well-equipped.
And, I think I got a Body wrap. I'm a bit hazy on the details, to be honest. After the sauna and the pool, a body wrap sounded absolutely perfect. All I remember is feeling incredibly relaxed and smelling faintly of… something exotic. Definitely a win. I think.
One thing I didn't experience was the Massage. I'm kicking myself now that I didn't book one. Next time!
Cleanliness and Safety: A Sigh of Relief
This is something I'm really picky about these days. And I was relieved and impressed. It seemed the place was incredibly clean.
Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing service, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, and Staff trained in safety protocol… It was all there. You could genuinely relax, which is a rare and precious thing these days.
Internet and Connectivity: Finally, a Signal!
Remember my earlier directional distress? Well, thank goodness for the Internet access! They boast "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" And they're not kidding. The connection was solid, which made it easy to manage the necessary evil of… you know… checking emails. I also noticed Internet [LAN] which is a welcome detail. They advertised Wi-Fi in public areas, and I could confirm it!
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Make a Difference
From the 24-hour front desk, the Concierge, and the Daily housekeeping; everything felt smooth and effortless. They offered Cash withdrawal and there was a Convenience store on-site.
While I didn't use most of them, the fact that they offered Babysitting service, Car park [free of charge], and a Laundry service, amongst others, showed their flexibility.
For the Kids and Pets: (Disclaimer – My Experience Was Mostly Focused on Me!)
I have none, so I'm not the best judge. But, I did see some Kids facilities around. They advertised themselves as Family/child friendly. I noticed there were also no Pets allowed, so if you were looking to bring Rover, this might not be your place.
Getting Around: Car Park [free of charge], and other amenities
Okay, the Car Park [on-site] was free! Major win. Since I drove, I appreciated that. I also noted they offered Airport transfer and Taxi service, which would have been really helpful if I'd booked an airport transfer, which I did not.
The Occasional Blemishes (Because Perfection Is Boring)
No place is perfect. The aforementioned slow service? Yeah, that could use a little tweaking. I'd also say that the signage within the property could be improved. It's a big place, and sometimes, finding your way was a minor adventure itself. But hey, these are definitely minor complaints.
The Verdict: Book It! (Unless You Hate Bliss)
Look, maybe "Escape to Paradise" is still a teensy bit of an exaggeration. But, this place is pretty darn close. It’s the perfect retreat from the stress and chaos of modern life. It’s comfortable, it's clean, it’s filled with amazing food, and it offers a serious dose of relaxation. The imperfections? They're part of the charm, honestly. This isn't a sterile, soulless hotel chain. This is a place with character, and heart.
So, if you're looking for a break, looking to recharge, or just want to enjoy some peace and quiet with a good meal and a sauna session, book it. You'll probably thank me later. I'm already thinking about my next visit
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Beachfront Home in Montebourg, France
Alright, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your perfectly-polished, Pinterest-board-ready itinerary. This is the raw, unfiltered, "I-probably-forgot-to-pack-my-toothbrush" version. We're headed to a restored farmhouse in Bertrix, Belgium, and trust me, it's going to be… an experience.
The Bertrix Breakdown: A Chaotic Chronicle of a Farmhouse Fiasco (and maybe some beauty)
Pre-Trip Panic (and the Great Sock Debacle)
- Days Before: The usual ballet of pre-trip anxiety. Packing? More like strategically stuffing. I swear I own a million socks, yet I always end up with a mismatch on day three. This time, I’m pretty sure I packed five left socks and three right ones. Genius. Also, fretting about exchanging currency. Seriously, the Euro? Seems like a whole other language… and I’m terrible with languages.
- The Flight (or, How I Became Best Friends with Turbulence): Airport chaos. Delayed flight, of course. I swear, I saw a toddler declare war on a vending machine. Fun. Thankfully, I’d downloaded a ridiculous amount of podcasts. One on the history of Belgian waffles (foreshadowing!) and another on… well, let's just say it had something to do with competitive cheese-eating. I'm a complex woman.
Arrival and the Initial Farmhouse Frenzy
Day 1: Finding Paradise (and the Bathroom): Landed in Brussels. Train to Bertrix. Lovely, I thought, until I realized my phone had mysteriously decided to speak only in German. I panicked. Asked a confused-looking woman for directions (in a highly butchered version of French), she was charming and got me on the right track. The farmhouse! Ah, it was even better than the photos. Like, a postcard-perfect kind of beautiful. Stone walls, blooming window boxes… and the most enormous, squeaky door I've ever encountered. I swear, the hinges were older than my grandma.
- Important Note: Finding the bathroom was a quest. Seriously, after a day of traveling I may or may not have yelled, "WHERE IS THE PRECIOUS?!?!" at some point.
Day 1 (Afternoon) the Grocery Store: An Epic Adventure I needed food. I wandered into a local grocery store. It was as if I stepped onto another planet. The bread, the cheese, and the smell! I felt like I was lost in a world of deliciousness. I overbought. Like, I bought everything that looked even vaguely appealing (which was pretty much everything).
- The Cheese Incident: There was this… thing… that looked like a giant, slightly sweating, orange soccer ball. I bravely asked the shopkeeper (who looked like he knew a thing or two about cheese) what it was. He chuckled and, in heavily accented English, described it as the “king of cheeses”. I bought it. Of course.
Day 1 (Evening) Farmhouse Feast and Existential Dread: Ate ALL the cheese (and bread and ham). Sat by the fireplace with a glass of wine. It's so quiet. Too quiet? Starting to wonder if I'm getting some kind of cabin fever. Watched the fire die down, and then started questioning everything. My life. My choices. The fact that I hadn't learned French properly, even though I've been planning to learn French since I was in grade school.
- The Wine Revelation: I had too much wine.
Digging Deeper (and Maybe Getting a Little Lost)
Day 2: Wandering Bertrix and the Quest for a Decent Coffee: Bertrix itself is charming, but tiny. Found a lovely little cafe. The coffee was… well, let's just say I've had better. But the people-watching was top-notch. People are weird, and I love it. I mean, who wears Crocs with a suit?
Day 2 (Afternoon) Forest Therapy (and a near-death experience with a rabbit). I decided to get some exercise and went for a walk in the woods. The forest was gorgeous. The air was so fresh, that it cleared my mind. It was perfect, until I almost tripped over a root and face-planted into a bush. Then, a rabbit, the size of a small dog, nearly gave me a heart attack as it darted across my path. After recovering, I felt a bit shaken.
- Quirky Thought: This rabbit was probably judging me.
Day 2 (Evening) The Great Cheese Conundrum (Part 2): That “king of cheeses.” It was… intense. Like, really, REALLY strong. I ate a small sliver and immediately broke out in a sweat. My taste buds went into shock. I spent the rest of the evening trying to figure out how to salvage it (because I’m a cheapskate and hate wasting food). I finally gave up and ended up eating a bowl of cereal at 11 p.m.
Day 3: A Day Trip to somewhere else- a Train Ride, The Village and Lost in translation: I took a train to a nearby village. The train made a lot of noise and I barely understood the announcements. I got out near a church, it was an old beautiful building and it was so peaceful. I felt out of place. I spent the afternoon wandering around, getting a bit lost, and completely failing to order ice cream in French. My French is terrible. But I laughed a lot.
Day 3 (Evening) The Fireplace Chronicles (and More Existential Angst): Sat by the fire again. Same wine, different day. Actually felt pretty good. This place, this silence, this… isolation… it's starting to grow on me. Maybe… just maybe… I’m actually starting to relax. But the silence is so… loud. I'm alone with my thoughts, which is both a blessing and a curse. I think about what's important to me. I start to think maybe I need to learn how to say, "I don't understand" in French.
The Unraveling (Partly metaphorical, partly literal)
Day 4: The Bertrix Breakdown Begins: I tried to make breakfast. Scrambled eggs and… well, let’s just say I managed to set off the smoke alarm. The farmhouse is perfect, but I am not. I blame the cheese. The cheese is the villain.
- Side note: The farmer's wife (or someone) came over, and fixed it all. She also gave me some fresh eggs. She didn't speak any English, but she was lovely. I think.
Day 4 (Afternoon) The Hunt for French Fries: I NEED French fries. Like, a soul-crushing need. Found a "friterie" (chip shop) in the town. French fries and mayo. Heaven. I stood there, eating hot fries, and watched kids playing football. It was one of the best days of my life.
Day 4 (Evening) The King of Cheese (The Revenge): I took a small piece of the cheese and dipped it in the mayo. It was weird and I loved it.
The Calm Before the Chaos of Departure
- Day 5: The Departure (or, The Great Sock Retrieval): The day to leave. I packed up. And then, I realized. The socks. I had to find them. Search the entire farmhouse, like a maniac looking for a treasure.
Final Thoughts (and a Deep Breath)
Bertrix. Belgium. The farmhouse. It wasn't perfect. It was messy. It was chaotic. I ate too much cheese. I nearly lost my mind. But… it was… good. I needed this. I needed the silence, the beauty, and the absolute, unfiltered me. I wish I can go again.
Weris Durbuy Dream Home: Your Luxurious Belgian Getaway Awaits!
So, is this Bertrix Farmhouse actually *paradise*? Seriously?
Paradise? Well, that depends. Did you pack enough bug spray? Because *that's* a non-negotiable. Initially, I'd say, yeah, *mostly* paradise. Picture this: rolling Belgian hills, cows looking at you like you're an idiot (which, let's be honest, I often am), and a farmhouse older than my grandma. The air smells...different. Like, clean and slightly manure-y. Which, surprisingly, I grew to love. But, the first afternoon battling a swarm of gnats… that was less paradise, more "get me a flamethrower, quick!"
What's the farmhouse *really* like? I mean, the pictures look perfect…
Oh, the pictures. Those are curated, baby, *curated*. It's beautiful, don't get me wrong. Think exposed beams, a fireplace that actually *works* (unlike my apartment's "faux fireplace"), and a kitchen that screams "rustic charm." Except… rustic charm also means the floorboards creak like a dying dinosaur. And the shower… well, let's just say I took a few more cold showers than I'd anticipated. The water pressure? About as strong as a kitten sneezing. But hey, character, right? Absolutely character!
Okay, but is it *comfortable*? I'm not exactly a rugged outdoors type...
Comfortable? Ehhh... It depends on your definition. The beds were comfy, thankfully. And the fireplace *did* make things cozy on the chilly evenings (and trust me, evenings in Belgium are *chilly*). But there was this one night… the wind howled. Absolutely *howled*. The windows rattled, and I swear I thought the roof was going to take off. I spent half the night convinced a poltergeist was going to steal all my snacks. (Spoiler alert: the squirrels got to the snacks first, little bastards.) So, yes, comfortable-ish. Bring extra blankets. And maybe a therapist. Just kidding… mostly.
What's the actual *location* like? Is there anything to *do* there?
Bertrix is… quiet. Very, very quiet. And that's a good thing, mostly. The scenery? Stunning. Ideal for long walks, bike rides (if you're into that sort of torture), and just generally pretending you're in a cheesy postcard. There's a bakery nearby with the most amazing croissants. They’re basically illegal, they're so good. And a few cute little villages to explore. But if you're expecting nightlife, think again. This is not Ibiza. This is "early to bed, wake up to the sound of cows mooing" country. Which, actually, is pretty darn relaxing if you give it a chance. I certainly did, even if I was perpetually searching for a decent WiFi signal.
The "Restored" Part: What's *that* about? Was the place falling apart?
Restored is a *generous* term. Let's just say it's seen some life, and not all of it recent. The owners clearly put their heart and soul into it, and you can see the love. But, look, the charm comes with a price: quirks. The wonky door that needs a good shove to close (and still might not), the slightly-too-low ceilings in places that made me feel like a giant, and the distinct lack of modern plumbing in the outhouse out back. Oh, the outhouse. Let's just say the spiders were *very* territorial. However, the new kitchen and bathrooms were a lifesaver compared to how bad it COULD'VE been.
Tell me about the *food*! Is Belgian food as amazing as everyone says?
Belgian food is… a culinary experience. Fries? Divine. Waffles? A religious experience. Chocolate? Well, let's just say I came home a slightly plumper version of myself. The local restaurants were good.. BUT you have to be prepared to eat *a lot* of heavy food. Carbonade flamande (beef stew)? Delicious. But also, enough to feed a small army. And the portions are...substantial. I swear, I think I gained five pounds just looking at a menu. Also keep an eye out for *frites* – that's French fries, and they're serious business over there.
Real Talk: What was the *worst* thing about the farmhouse?
The worst? Honestly? The lack of an immediately accessible, properly functioning washing machine. I spilled red wine down my brand new favorite shirt. (Don't drink red wine if you're clumsy, a lesson for me). Trying to wash it by hand in the tiny little basin, with water that wasn't exactly temperature-controlled, with a bar of soap that was clearly meant to be decorative...it was a disaster. Three hours of scrubbing later, it was still a mess and I started looking for the next laundromat, which I had no clue how to locate.
And the *best* thing?
The best thing? Easy. The silence. Absolute, glorious, uninterrupted silence. Away from the city, away from the constant noise of life. I sat on the porch one evening, drinking a glass of wine (carefully, this time), and just… listened. To the wind. To the cows. To nothing. It was bliss. Pure, unadulterated, slightly-manure-tinged bliss. Even after battling that wine stain, I was happy and grateful. And, somehow, I don't feel like I've said enough!
Would you go back?
Honestly? Yes. Warts, spiders, wonky doors, and all. Would I pack better? Absolutely. Would I bring a power washer for any impending laundry needs? Probably. But, that peace and beauty is worth it. The chance to escape, to recharge... it's unforgettable. Just remember the bug spray.
