Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Villa in Sayalonga, Spain Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Sayalonga? More Like "Almost Paradise"… and That's Okay! (A Rambling Review)
Okay, so "Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Villa in Sayalonga, Spain Awaits!" – that's what they say. And, look, Sayalonga's pretty darn gorgeous. Picture this: sun-drenched hills, whitewashed villages clinging to precipitous slopes… It's postcard perfect, alright. And this villa, well, it mostly delivered on the promise. Buckle up, because this review isn't your sanitized, PR-approved fluff. It's real life, baby. And sometimes real life involves a wonky showerhead and a slightly undercooked omelet.
Accessibility (Sort of!):
Right, so this is a big one for me because I actually need accessibility. The website mentioned “facilities for disabled guests”, whispers and I was initially ecstatic. But here’s the messy truth: it’s listed but the execution… Well, it's more like "sort-of-accessible-ish." The main entrance seemed okay, but navigating the uneven cobblestone paths around the villa was, shall we say, a challenge. My wheelchair (affectionately nicknamed "The Tank") earned its stripes. There was an elevator, bless its heart, which was a lifesaver. The rooms themselves were spacious enough, which was a huge plus. The bathrooms? They had the right features – grab bars and all that. But the details? Not quite there. The shower? A bit too small and the water pressure fluctuated more than my mood swings! sigh I also felt that the website did not elaborate enough on the accessibility features, so I had to call them ahead of time to confirm.
Food, Glorious Food… (Mostly Good):
Let’s talk grub! This is where things really got interesting. The promise of “a la carte in restaurant”, “Asian cuisine”, “Western cuisine”, “vegetarian restaurant” – my inner foodie did a happy dance. The reality? A mixed bag.
The Breakfast Buffet: The buffet! Oh, the glorious buffet! Well, the mostly glorious buffet. The "Asian breakfast" seemed to consist primarily of… well, noodles. Not my jam, mate. But the "Western breakfast" was a solid win. The pastries were divine, the coffee strong, and the omelette station? A game-changer. Except… one morning, my omelette was practically raw. I almost sent it back. But I'm British, dammit! We don't complain. We just… suffer in silence, with a raised eyebrow. (And mentally calculate the calories burned from enduring such indignity.)
Lunch and Dinner Adventures: The restaurants were lovely ambiance-wise, especially the one with the "poolside bar." Ah, a margarita and a view! chef's kiss. The "salad in restaurant" was beautifully presented, but the dressing… well, one day it tasted like actual dirt. I kid you not. Another time the "desserts in restaurant" were a highlight, especially the chocolate cake.
Room Service (24-hour): Bless. After a long day of exploring, the siren call of room service was irresistible. The menu was extensive, and the service was swift, especially since I was able to use the "cashless payment service." Though, one night, the burger arrived looking… a bit lonely, on a massive plate. Maybe a side of fries wouldn't have killed anyone?
Relaxation Station (Okay, This Was Mostly Awesome):
Okay, folks, let's get to the real reason you're dreaming of Sayalonga – relaxation. And on this front, the villa had some serious chops.
The Pool with a View: OMG. The infinity pool, overlooking the valley, was pure, unadulterated bliss. Floating there, staring at the hills, sipping something cold… that’s what dreams are made of. Pure magic.
The Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: Now, this is where they really nailed it. The "spa" was fantastic. I happily availed myself of "Body scrub" and a "massage" by a lovely woman named Maria. She had magic hands, I swear. The "Sauna" and "Steamroom?" Utterly cleansing. sigh of contentment
Fitness Center: Yeah, yeah, "Fitness center." I thought I should go. I even packed my workout gear. But the pool was calling. The bar was calling. My bed was calling… You get the picture.
Cleanliness and Safety (Phew, Sorted):
In this post-COVID world, this is huge. And I gotta say, the villa took this seriously. Seeing the staff trained in "safety protocol" was reassuring. "Hand sanitizer" stations everywhere. "Rooms sanitized between stays." "Daily disinfection in common areas." "Anti-viral cleaning products"… The whole shebang. I felt safe. And, honestly, that’s a big deal. I can confidently say that I was pleased with the "Breakfast takeaway service"; this was a convenient option that helped me to maintain social distancing. The "Safe dining setup" was also great!
Rooms, Rooms, Glorious Rooms (Mostly Glorious):
My room? Pretty darn good. "Air conditioning" that actually worked (a godsend in the Spanish heat!). "Blackout curtains" that delivered on their promise. A comfortable "Seating area," a spacious “Closet”. The "Mini bar" was well-stocked… I mean, the "Refrigerator" was a bit noisy, but hey, no complaints! The "Bathroom" was mostly good. The "Toiletries" were nice, and the "Hair dryer" actually worked. The view from my "Window that opens" was stunning.
Services and Conveniences (A Mixed Bag):
- Positive Vibes: The “Concierge” was helpful. The "Daily housekeeping" was efficient. Appreciated the "luggage storage." The "Dry cleaning" was useful.
- The Negatives: I have a problem with a place that has a "convenience store" but also has a limited supply of anything. I also felt that the "Internet [LAN]" was not working and the "Internet access – wireless" service was in and out.
For the Kids (Or Not):
No kids with me this time, but the villa did have a "Babysitting service," a "Kids meal," and "Kids facilities." So, definitely family-friendly!
Getting Around (Easy Peasy):
- The Good: "Car park [free of charge]" was a win. The "Taxi service" was reliable. I could easily use the "Airport transfer."
- The Bad: Even though there was a "car park [on-site]", I never saw a "Car power charging station". I didn't see a "bicycle parking" either.
The Verdict?
Look, "Escape to Paradise" might be a slight exaggeration. But Sayalonga? Stunning. The Villa? Mostly fantastic. The staff? Lovely, even when dealing with my grumbling about the uneven omelets. The imperfections? They add character. Would I go back? Absolutely. Would I recommend it? Yes, with the caveat that it's more "charming, slightly imperfect paradise" than a flawless escape. Enjoy, and don't forget to pack your mosquito repellent. You'll need it!
French Riviera Dream: Secluded Drap Villa with Private Pool!
Belvilla by OYO Villa Alejandro - My Sayalonga S**tshow (and I LOVED it!)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your glossy brochure getaway. This is the raw, unfiltered, slightly-sunburnt reality of my week at Villa Alejandro in Sayalonga, Spain. And frankly? It was a glorious, chaotic, tapas-fueled mess. Prepare for a rollercoaster.
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Olive Oil Debacle
- 14:00 (ish): Touchdown in Malaga. The airport was a warzone – everyone yelling, luggage carts colliding, the air thick with the scent of chorizo and existential dread (kidding…mostly). Managed to find the rental car. It was a tiny, suspiciously-named "Fiesta" (ominous, right?).
- 15:30 - 17:00: The drive to Sayalonga felt like I was navigating a spaghetti junction designed by a sadist. Google Maps kept rerouting me down goat tracks. I cursed the Fiesta’s tiny engine repeatedly. Finally, finally, I saw the villa. Relief washed over me… followed immediately by the realization that I needed to find the key.
- 17:00 - 18:00: The key box was a locked contraption of doom. After ten minutes of fumbling and near-panic, I finally got it open. Victory! But…wait a second.
- 18:00 - 18:30: Unpacking. First impressions of Villa Alejandro – glorious views! Pool looked inviting. Then I tried to unpack the olive oil I’d brought. (Yes, I’m a "bring my own olive oil" type. Don't judge). The bottle shattered. Green, viscous liquid everywhere. My suitcase, the countertop, even my sandals. Rage. Followed by a wave of laughter because honestly, what else could I do? Welcome to Spain, apparently.
- 18:30 - 19:30: Cleaning up, swearing in Spanish. Found a bottle of local olive oil in the kitchen. Thank god.
- 19:30: Spent the evening drinking wine on the balcony, watching the sunset. It was stunning. Absolutely breathtaking. Almost made up for the olive oil incident. Almost.
Day 2: The Market, the Mountains, and the Almost-Disastrous Paella
- 9:00: Woke up feeling surprisingly okay. Ate a breakfast of stale bread and some rather suspect looking jam. (Note to self: Stock up on proper food).
- 10:00 - 12:00: The Sayalonga Sunday market! This was the best part. I wandered amongst the stalls, overwhelmed by the colours, the smells, the sheer bustle of it all. Bought some chorizo (the REAL stuff), some weird-looking but delicious fruit, and a scarf for some unknown reason. Totally succumbed to the market fever.
- 12:30 - 14:00: Drove into the mountains. Trying to find a specific hiking path. Got lost (again) but ended up stumbling upon a tiny, charming village with a bar. Spent an hour drinking café con leche and eavesdropping on locals. Learned absolutely zero Spanish but felt wonderfully content.
- 16:00 - 18:00: Decided to attempt paella. After a terrifying amount of online research, I felt confident. I. Was. Wrong. Burnt the rice. Underestimated the heat. Added way too much saffron. Ended up with something that resembled a brown, vaguely edible porridge. My face felt like a tomato.
- 18:00 - 19:00: Decided to walk around, feel like an idiot, and have one of those 'it's a disaster but I'm loving it anyway' moments.
- 19:00: Ordered pizza from a local place. Thank the heavens for pizza.
Day 3: Beach Day (Kind Of), and the Tapas Tumble
- 10:00: Decided to finally brave the beach. Torrox Costa. The drive was…well, it was a drive. Turns out, the coastal roads in this area are not built for the faint of heart (or the Fiesta's engine).
- 11:00 - 13:00: Beach. Beautiful, golden sand, turquoise water. Spent some time in the sea, sunbathing (getting slightly redder, naturally), and people-watching. Saw a man trying to fly a kite. Failed miserably. Felt a kinship.
- 14:00 - 15:00: Lunch at a beachside chiringuito. Ordered pescaíto frito (fried fish). Delicious! Started feeling the sea breeze and the sun and the sangria…
- 15:00 - 17:00: Feeling the effects of sangria. Went back to Sayalonga. Found a place for tapas. Started ordering. Got a little carried away.
- 17:00 - 18:00: Tapas. The best thing ever. So many delicious things to try. Then, disaster strikes. Trying to get up from a bar stool. Trips, falls. Spilled wine on all the tapas. On me. On the floor.
- 18:00 - 20:00: Feeling embarrassed and humiliated. But then I have a good giggle, and decide to make my own tapas for dinner.
- 20:00 Onwards: Went back to the villa, had some amazing tapas I made on the balcony whilst watching the sunset.
Day 4: The Pool, Relaxation, and the Mosquito Massacre
- 9:00 - 12:00: Pool time! Finally! Spent the morning reading, floating, and generally embracing the lazy life. The water was cool and refreshing, a welcome escape from the heat.
- 12:00 - 13:00: Tried my hand at painting (badly). Decided I am not an artist.
- 13:00: Relaxed. Really relaxed.
- 15:00 Onwards: The great mosquito attack of '24. Seriously. They came out in force. Ended up locked in my room, covered in repellent, listening to the buzzing outside the window. Lost the battle. Woke up the next morning with bites everywhere. My legs looked like I'd been through a small war.
Day 5: Frigiliana – So Pretty It Almost Made Me Cry
- 9:00 - 10:00: Covered in calamine lotion, plotting my revenge on the mosquitoes. But, I had to let it go.
- 10:00: Drove to Frigiliana. This village is ridiculously beautiful. White-washed houses, cobbled streets, flowers cascading from every balcony. Walked around in a daze of pure, unadulterated delight.
- 12:00: Lunched in Frigiliana. More tapas, of course. Tried some local wine. Definitely more wine than I needed, but worth it.
- 14:00: Wandered aimlessly. Got lost. Found a tiny, hidden square. Sat and watched the world go by. Considered staying forever.
- 15:30: Said goodbye to Frigiliana, promising myself I'd be back.
- 16:00: More wine. I'm just going to enjoy the moment.
- 20:00: Watched the sunset, alone, feeling happy and content… despite the mosquito bites.
Day 6: Cooking Class and My Confession
- 10:00: Today, I did a cooking class. It was incredible! This time I have a great chef who walks around, and gets me to make the local dishes.
- 14:00: Eat lots of food, and walk around the area.
- 16:00: Today, I must confess something. This trip, I was originally supposed to come with someone. But they didn't come. And now, after all this time. I am honestly so glad they didn't. I wouldn't have had half as much fun, been able to do as many things, and I would have probably have been stuck inside.
- 18:00: Back to the villa. Enjoying the peace and quiet.
- 20:00: Watching the sunset, and now, I can honestly say, I will never forget this holiday.
Day 7: Departure and the Fiesta's Final Revenge
- **9
Escape to Paradise: Sayalonga Villa FAQs (Because, Hello, You Need Answers!)
Okay, Seriously, Is This Place *Actually* Paradise? Or Just, Like, Really Nice?
How Do I Even *Get* to Sayalonga? I'm Not Exactly a Mountain Goat.
What's the Villa *Actually* Like? Pictures Can Be Deceiving, You Know...
- Pool: Oh, the pool! It's not just a pool, it's a *vibe*. That first plunge after the flight… pure bliss. I spent, like, half my trip floating.
- Bedrooms: Comfy beds, clean sheets. No complaints. And the views from the bedrooms? More postcard-worthy moments.
- Kitchen: Fully equipped, which is great because you *will* want to cook. There’s a local market, and the food is ahhh-mazing. I failed miserably trying to recreate a Paella. Disaster. But fun disaster.
- Outside Area: The terraces! The BBQ! Dining al fresco under the stars! Total romance, even if you're with your family (like me!)
- The WiFi: It works. That's important. No need to stress about losing contact with the world. But you *will* be tempted to disconnect.
Is Sayalonga, Like, Remote? Will I Be Bored?
What's the Food Like? I'm Mostly Interested in Eating.
Okay, The House Rules? Laundry? Cleaning? What Am I Getting Myself Into?
What about Bugs? Because, You Know, The Outdoors...
Can You Describe That Amazing Pool Time? 'Cause I'm Already There in my Head!
