Unbelievable Benidorm Bargain: Your Dream Belvilla Awaits!
Unbelievable Benidorm "Bargain": My Dream Belvilla? Let's See… Because Honestly, I'm Still Scratching My Head! (A Real Review)
Okay, so, "Unbelievable Benidorm Bargain: Your Dream Belvilla Awaits!" – the title practically screams "slick marketing," right? Well, folks, buckle up, because I just got back from… attempting to live MY dream at this place. Let's just say my dream has a very strong learning curve right now. And a slight lingering scent of… well, you’ll see.
(SEO Stuff - because apparently, that's important)
- Keywords: Benidorm, Belvilla, Bargain, Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurants, Wi-Fi, Cleanliness, Safety, Benidorm Hotel, Family Friendly, Beach Holiday, Spain, Travel Review.
- Metadata Description: A brutally honest review of the "Unbelievable Benidorm Bargain" Belvilla. We delve into accessibility, facilities, dining, cleanliness (and the lack thereof?!), and everything in between. Is it a dream vacation or a near-disaster? Read on to find out! Benidorm travel tips and honest opinions included!
(Let’s dive in…messily!)
First, the accessibility. They say they've got it. They even list facilities for disabled guests. Now, I, thankfully, am not actively in need of those facilities on a daily basis, but I do notice things. Like… the elevator. Yeah, it's there. It goes up. Eventually. And the pathways? Well, they're paved. Mostly. With a few tripping hazards thrown in for a bit of adventure. Let's just say if you're really reliant on a wheelchair, double-check everything, even if they claim it's all sorted. My first thought was, "Hope Aunt Carol managed this place better than I did…"
Then, the on-site accessible restaurants/lounges. I could only find one. And well, accessibility wasn’t the first thing on their minds. Tables crammed so close together, I swear I saw a waiter squeeze sideways to get to the table in front of me. A bit of a disaster from the start.
Food, Glorious, Potentially Questionable Food
Okay, the dining situation. Wow. Where do I even begin? They offer everything. Asian breakfast? Check. A la carte? Check. International cuisine? Check. Too. Many. Choices. It's like they threw every single menu item into a blender and hoped for the best. And honestly? Sometimes, it felt like they did throw it in a blender.
The breakfast buffet (buffet in restaurant, western breakfast, Asian breakfast). Ah, the buffet. I went in optimistic. I left… well, let's just say I saw someone cough directly over the croissants, and that pretty much sealed the deal. (And they called themselves hygiene certified? Seriously?). It felt a little… chaotic. And I'm not even a germaphobe. Okay, maybe a little now. The 'coffee/tea in restaurant' was a lukewarm, self-serve nightmare - it tasted like dishwater. The ‘bottle of water’ was the only good thing there.
One night, I had the ‘salad in restaurant’ and the ‘Soup in restaurant’. And both came with a side of ‘suspicious’. The salad was wilted, and I'm still trying to identify the source of that particular flavor in the soup. I’m talking, I'm pretty sure I saw a rogue ingredient in the soup that I still can't get rid of the aftertaste of…
The happy hour was a bit of a joke too. Basically, water down drinks at full price, then call it happy hour. I swear some of the bartenders couldn’t even make a Gin and Tonic! The only ‘bottle of water’ was the one I brought myself.
Trying to Relax - The (Potentially Dangerous) Spa Experience
Spa/sauna, steamroom, swimming pool, pool with a view– it all promised relaxation, right? The 'pool with view' was nice, I'll give them that. But getting to the ‘spa’ was a bit of a scavenger hunt through a maze of corridors.
And the spa? Oh, the spa. Let’s talk about the massage. Now, I'm not a massage snob. I just want to feel like I’m getting a massage, not a… gentle poke with a stick. I asked for deep tissue. I'm pretty sure I got… light tissue. I’m convinced the masseuse was more interested in her phone than my knotted shoulders. And the 'body scrub'? It felt like they were trying to sandblast my skin off. My skin was red raw! Don’t forget the foot bath. This foot bath went from luxurious to a nightmare quick. I’m convinced the water was never changed!
The sauna and steamroom felt a bit dodgy. The sauna wood was all warped. I think it was a heat-based sauna! I felt cleaner taking a shower in a public toilet.
Cleanliness & Safety - Or, the Lack Thereof?
Anti-viral cleaning products? Sure. But I’m beginning to wonder if they're just… spraying air freshener. The ‘individually-wrapped food options’ were, bless them, mostly individually wrapped. But the general feeling was… not super clean. I found a hair in the shower that I’m pretty sure wasn’t mine. And I did take a picture of the questionable stain on the curtains.
The staff trained in safety protocol. The staff were seemingly trained, but I have my doubts. One waiter was trying to serve me while still yawning.
The ‘daily disinfection in common areas’ – I witnessed none. ‘Rooms sanitized between stays’? If it was, they missed a few spots. Twice. The ‘hand sanitizer’ was available, but frequently empty.
My room smelled like a mix of stale cigarettes and… something else I couldn’t quite identify.
The Room - The “Dream” Doesn’t Quite Materialize
Available in all rooms… well that doesn't quite cut it. The ‘blackout curtains’ let in more light than a disco ball. The ‘free bottled water’ which was lovely, but I needed to hunt for it. ‘Complimentary tea’ and ‘coffee maker’? Tea was there, but no coffee. The ‘mini bar’ was… mini. And empty. My ‘private bathroom’ had a rather dodgy leaky toilet. The ‘mirror’ was, at best, foggy. The ‘safe/security feature’ was on the floor.
Wi-Fi - The Struggle is Real
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hooray! But… it was spotty, dropped out constantly, and generally more frustrating than a dial-up modem in the 90s. Forget about streaming movies (on-demand movies), unless you enjoy a pixelated slideshow. The ‘internet access – wireless’ was better described as ‘internet access – sometimes wireless, if you’re lucky, and standing in the right spot, and praying to the Wi-Fi gods’.
Everything Else (Because Life is Messy)
- Family/child friendly: They claim to be. But I wouldn't trust their ‘babysitting service’ based on my other experiences.
- Cashless payment service: Yes, available. It was a relief, after the buffet.
- Laundry service & Dry cleaning: Available. I actually used it, and it wasn’t terrible.
- Concierge: They tried, bless 'em. But a lot of the time they just looked confused.
- Getting Around: Car park [free of charge]. That was a bonus!
- Non-smoking rooms: Yes, thankfully. Because the whole place was starting to smell like an ashtray.
- Check-in/out [express]: Nope. It was slow, and a bit of a shambles.
- Safety/security feature: Yes…but I had to find it first.
The Verdict: Unbelievable (in all the wrong ways)
Would I recommend the "Unbelievable Benidorm Bargain"? Well, that depends. If your dream vacation involves questionable hygiene, hit-or-miss facilities, and a constant sense of mild anxiety, then yes. If you’re looking for a truly relaxing, well-managed, and clean experience… probably not.
This place has potential. It just needs a serious dose of… well, everything. And maybe a good deep clean. And a new menu. And a new spa. And a new… you get the idea.
Final score: 2 out of 5 stars. I’m giving it two stars for the pool view and the fact that I survived. And that’s being generous. I'm still recovering.
French Riviera Dream: Luxurious Sigoules Mansion with Private Pool!
Los Olivos Benidorm: A Rollercoaster of Sun, Sangria, and Shenanigans (Or, My Holiday Diary, Uncensored)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your average travel itinerary. This is a battlefield report from the glorious, sun-drenched, and occasionally slightly terrifying, Costa Blanca. We're talking Los Olivos, Benidorm: the place where sunburns are practically a national sport and the air hums with a constant buzz of laughter (and the occasional karaoke off-key wail).
Pre-Trip Panic Attack (and Packing Hell)
Days before: The email from Belvilla arrives… and I promptly have a near-meltdown. Suddenly, all the "perfect holiday" Pinterest boards I'd been obsessing over seem like a cruel joke. Do I have enough sunscreen? (Spoiler alert: No. I never do.) Are my flip-flops acceptable? (The answer is always yes, but I still question it). And, the most crucial question of all: Did I remember the plug adaptors?! (Thank God for Amazon Prime.)
Day 1: Arrival & That First Glorious Glimpse (Followed by Mild Panic)
- Morning: Flight's smooth…ish. I spent most of the flight battling a toddler's unwavering fascination with my window blind. Victory was achieved with a strategically deployed bag of gummy bears.
- Afternoon: Arrived at Alicante Airport. Luggage retrieval was a brutal Hunger Games-esque experience. Finally, we found our bags, emerged blinking into the glorious Spanish sun, and snagged a taxi. The driver, a man who could talk for Spain, started regaling us with his life story the second we sat down. I understood about 30% of it, mostly because it involved the words "Benidorm" and "tapas." SOLD!
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Los Olivos! Found the apartment in a maze of narrow streets (Google Maps, you sweet, sweet savior). The complex is… well, let's just say “charming” is the word. Think faded paint on a charming building. The balcony! Oh, the balcony. Immediately poured myself a celebratory glass of… (checks fridge) … warm fizzy water. Realized I'd forgotten to buy anything other than airport snacks. Note to self: Grocery shopping tomorrow! Tried to sit and enjoy the view but the neighbours started a very loud argument in Spanish (which I'm assuming was about parking) before I could even settle. Ended up hiding inside.
- Evening: Desperate for food! Wandered aimlessly, dodging scooters, and eventually stumbled upon a tapas bar that looked promising. Ordered ALL the things. The patatas bravas were DIVINE. The garlic prawns? Worth the garlic breath. The sangria? Let's just say my initial worries about the holiday disappeared with every sip. Ended the night swaying slightly, humming to myself, and convinced I could speak fluent Spanish.
Day 2: Beach Bliss (and the Great Sunscreen Fiasco!)
- Morning: Grocery store run complete! (Success! And I even managed to understand the cashier.) Breakfast on the balcony: strong coffee, fresh bread, and that lingering feeling of "I deserve this." The sun is already blistering, gotta be careful.
- Afternoon: Beach time! Found a spot on Levante Beach, which is basically Benidorm's beating heart. The sand is golden, the sea is crystal-clear, and the sheer volume of people is… intense. Found a sun lounger (after a brief, passive-aggressive battle with a family claiming it, they were clearly not Spanish) and slathered myself in sunscreen. Or so I thought. Turns out, I missed a crucial patch on my back. Cue epic sunburn.
- Later: Tried to enjoy the rest of the day, even though I looked like a lobster. The waves were fantastic, and the sheer, unadulterated joy on the faces of children building sandcastles was infectious. Watched a particularly enthusiastic beach volleyball match. They were awful, but I loved every second.
- Evening: Dinner at a seafood restaurant. The paella was amazing (even though I was convinced it had more garlic, it was amazing!) Walked along the promenade, people-watching. Saw a man dressed as a giant chicken. Truly, this is Benidorm.
Day 3: Exploring & The Unexpected Cultural Deep Dive
- Morning: The sunburn is a raging inferno, pain is good. Tried to avoid the sun and explore the old town of Benidorm. Wandered along the cobbled streets, got lost in hidden alleys, and discovered tiny, charming shops selling everything from ceramics to sangria (again).
- Afternoon: Found a tiny church, and went in. It was beautiful, and gave me a chance to pause and take a breath. After, I spent more time getting lost, I think I've finally mastered the art of "wandering."
- Evening: Unexpected gem: Went to a flamenco show. I'm not usually one for 'cultural experiences' but, wow. The passion, the energy, the sheer power of the performance blew me away. The dancer's feet moved like lightning, the music was both haunting and exhilarating, and I nearly cried. Absolutely the best part of the trip so far. Ate far more tapas than I'd had planned to following the show.
Day 4: Water Park Mayhem & Epic Fails
- Morning: Went to Aqualandia water park. I'm not a water park person. I'm even less of a "water park person" when I've got a raging sunburn. But, the kids (and let's be honest, me) were excited.
- Afternoon: Slides, queues, and near-drowning experiences. The "Big Bang" slide was actually terrifying, even for a seasoned thrill-seeker. Got utterly soaked (which, in my lobster-like state, was both a blessing and a curse) and lost my dignity when I couldn't manage to climb out of a pool.
- Evening: Pizza. Beer. An early night, desperately trying to coax my skin back to a non-fiery state. Realized I should probably invest in a hat.
Day 5: Recovery & Farewell Sunset (Maybe?)
- Lazy Morning: Trying to nurse my sunburn. So much aloe vera! Netflix and chill (literally). Trying to enjoy the peace and quiet before the real world demands my attention.
- Afternoon: Decided to have a quiet walk along the beach, but, even with hat, umbrella, and long sleeves, the sun managed to find a way to burn the back of my other hand!
- Evening: Farewell dinner. Struggling between sad and relieved to be leaving. Went back to that tapas bar (because why change a winning formula?) Sitting on the balcony, trying to watch the sunset (which, as it turns out, is a bit obscured by the buildings). But! The pink and orange hues are still there, and I'm feeling an odd mix of exhaustion and contentment.
Day 6: Departure & (Hopefully) No More Burn
- Morning: Packing. Packing. And more packing. Said farewell to the apartment, and left, with a list of all the things I didn't do and a plan to come back!
- Afternoon: The flight home was uneventful.
Final Thoughts (and a Plea for Sunscreen Awareness):
Benidorm is… well, it's Benidorm. It's loud, it's brash, it's a little bit bonkers, and I loved it. It's a place where you can eat the best tapas of your life, witness the most bizarre sights, and get hopelessly lost in a maze of narrow streets. It's a place that'll leave you exhausted, slightly sunburned, and craving more. And… for the love of all that is holy… wear sunscreen. Seriously. I learned the hard way.
Bohemian Dream: Luxury Ski Chalet in Abertamy, Czech Republic
Unbelievable Benidorm Bargain: Your Dream Belvilla Awaits! - FAQs (Because Let's Face It, You Have Questions)
Okay, "Unbelievable Bargain" – Is That Code for "Moldy Shack Where Cockroaches Have a Rent-Controlled Suite"?
What's the catch? There *has* to be a catch, right? Is it actually *in* Benidorm, or, like, three hours away in a goat pasture?
What's the apartment *really* like? Be honest. Describe the furniture. I need details.
Is Benidorm actually… fun? Or is it just a giant, stag do-filled nightmare?
Should I book it? Seriously, just give me a straight answer.
